changelingdude | [Video post]

As the video clicks on we are treated to the view of a stage. Those who have been to Caritas will recognize both the bar, and the tall green demon in soft sky blue suit and cream yellow shirt announcing the next act.

"Now normally we don't do this sort of thing, but I've known this young man since I arrived in the digital world, he's been here faithfully every week singing his heart out and dishing out his hard earned bits on my overpriced *he makes air quotes* healthy drinks. So let's give him a warm welcome, my personal friend, BEASTBOY!"

The crowd applauds and Beastboy climbs up onto stage laughing with Lorne and taking the mic "And let's get a big round of applause for LORNE! Neon's very own screaming snowflake!"

Lorne smirks, "screaming snowflake Beastboy?"

"That's right Lorne, because no two suits of yours are alike and no one dresses louder!"

The crowd laughs and Lorne finds this particularly funny giving Beastboy approval as he steps off stage.

The changeling grips his mic in hand and grins at the crowd, "Well hey there kids, as you all know they call me Beastboy! I was going to go with Green Goblin but too many of my peers made a few too many jokes about knobgobblin' when I was a kid so I changed."

I've been a superhero for awhile now, been in the digital world for a few months and I have to say it's starting to feel like home you know? A wonderful place to live...if you could just get rid of all the people!

I Kid really, i've made some of my best friends in this crazy place like my own digimon partner plotmon! For those of you who don't know, Plotmon are the digimon who could be Tailmon in their child form but just don't like the extra effort of having hands!

And while we're at it let's get a big round of applause for hands huh? I remember not too long ago we were all turning human left and right and the most common phrase I heard around the old homestead was "HELL YEAH HANDS!" Well that and "I HAVE FUNCTIONING GENITALS WHO WANTS TO SEE?"

My homestead, oh Yggdrasil help me is Tetha. We'd put up a sign that reads "No maimings in blank number of days" But Junk City needed it to keep track of what day of the week it was.

No Really I love Tetha, It's a little like home for me with how crowded it is...then again I grew up on an ant farm.

Tetha's great though for dating, I mean you have the hot springs, all those restaraunts, and if you wait a week or so under it you're bound to catch a girl who's been maimed and tossed off the edge.

Actually that's kind of how one of my buddies dates! He gets into these ridiculous situations where he gets hurt and has to go to the hospital...and for awhile I couldn't figure it out I said "Dude, why can't you just stay out of trouble?" And he says to me "Chicks dig scars man."

Oh so THATS why Doc Doom has women hanging all overhim!

Anyway, so I keep poking at him, "No seriously dude what's the deal? Why so many hospital trips?" Well it turns out Tetha generals just re-instated this new sponge bath policy and my buddy keeps hoping for a visit from nurse Lilymon! Too bad he keeps getting the same Cockatrimon!

I think last time he was there he even got some phone numbers on his cast...we checked later and it turned out to be the numbers for poison control, the fire department and a taxi service because the ambulance was sick of coming out to get him!

I mentioned Doc Doom just a minute ago, really great bad guy! I mean it I hope I never have meet this guy in a dark alley because unlike LOT, I probably won't see his mask from down the street. I mean seriously, an orange mask? Orange is NOT scary! Silver is scary! A name like "Doctor Doom!" is scary...LOT is where you go to park your car. I mean yeah sure it's just short for, "THE LORD OF TERROR!" But if your abbreviation just makes you sound silly? Don't do it! Doctor Doom doesn't call himself "D.D" for short! We'd all laugh at him!

I tried the bad boy thing once, you know, hero turns evil? Makes for a great plot twist on a story...but I failed miserably and you know why? I can't grow facial hair. Nope, I just can't, and if superheroing has taught me anything? All the greatest bad guys have facial hair. Dr. Robotnik and Dr. Wily both have these huge GLORIOUS mustaches that I think pulls their act together entirely! In fact I insist that from now on all evil robot builders should try to grow mustaches like that so we can tell them apart from the rest of the rouges. It should be the new trend! The nose forest look.

I'm not saying all facial hair is evil no no, simply that evil has a look...and that look says "I do not know how to shave without cutting myself."

I'd love to grow some stubble you know? Get that whole bad boy hero thing going? Fake Leather Jacket, slicked back hair, mo-ped! I even started working out to be more impressive. Oh yeah you can tell can't you *Flexes pathetically scrawny arms* Put together a five pound weight, lift that bad boy ten times a day baby oh yeah! I'm buff I know it! It's ok to stare ladies the window shopping is free!

Anyway the bartender's giving me a sign...is that the I'm running out of time sign? No? Oh I get it, I'm driving you people to drink more so he wants me to keep going! Well much as I'd love to help you all pickle your livers faster I think my friend just passed out so I have to help drag her home! You've been a great crowd, tip your waiters, your ladies of the evening and your EMTs when you wake up from alcohol poisoning, GOODNIGHT!